introvert

I'm an introvert, and I've spent the last few years really appreciating the meaning of this. Among many other things, an introvert gets tired easily of social interaction. I was reminded of this yet again when home for the 4th, when I was hanging out with my extended family, people I haven't seen in a long time, and I still found myself lapsing into silence when I could have been talking.

The change in my perception of this over my lifetime is interesting. When I was very young, I didn't even notice this tendency. When I was slightly older, I was defensive when people would ask why I didn't mix more. A little older than that (end of high school/start of college), and I was wondering why I was like this, and why I couldn't be more like others. In this phase, I made a lot of efforts to "act normal" and socialize...some successful, most not. When my energy is high, I can do this fine. But at the end of the day, when I am tired or stressed, I am much more comfortable reading a book or doing something alone, or with just a couple other people.

So where I am now in life is to recognize that this is not a strength of mine, and to know when I am going into a social situation that I need to prepare. Be well rested, be focused on the interaction rather than see it as a distraction. And when I am on vacation, on my off time, I've learned not to try and force myself into things I don't like, and just accept that some people are comfortable being in a conversation 18 hours a day, and I'm not. And that's okay, it's just something that shapes my life.